December 2nd

Hello Friends! I hope you are staying warm. What an awful storm that was with the Santa Barbara Winds. Hit five different states. Uprooted trees, smashed cars, put out electricity and much more. I hope the winds have calmed and everyone is safe.

Now the cold is coming in from the North and I fear this is going to be a very, very cold winter.  I curled up between my two warmest blankets last night and slept like a worm in a cocoon.

Although I love the beauty of snow on the mountain tops and the sight of it glistening through the trees, with a the blanket of white on the ground; I have found as you get older your senses kick in. Fear of slipping, freezing and being uncomfortable because of high utility bills takes away the pleasure and delight of a winters beauty. I love looking at Winter Pictures and Christmas cards, but I would rather experience a sunny day on a beach in Hawaii. Never having been there I haven’t learned about its draw backs yet. So I still have something to dream about.

Today I want to talk about the Hardships of holidays:

While many are enjoying the hustle and bustle and family cheer of holidays it is important to remember that there are just as many who are suffering during the holiday season. They are alone, they have lost loved ones whether it be to death, divorce or illnesses.

Holidays are not a happy time for everyone. It is a season when people realize their dreams that never came true, the love that they lost, and the reality of their life .

It is open for depression, illness, poverty, and much more.

Christmas is strongly affected by good and bad relationships, memories of abuse and neglect.

Triggers of depression can be the decorations, a Christmas tree, a special gift, or something as simple as a Christmas carol.

Not having income to take care of your family let alone think about presents, or celebrations can have a strong impacted.

Christmas for many is the loneliest time of the year. Frequently the stress of poor economics brings miss understandings and addition stress into relationships. The hardest time to separate is around holidays and yet many people find themselves breaking off relationships or entering divorces at this time.

That is something you never forget. It will stay with you through every holiday for the rest of your life. You may learn to deal with it in your own way but it will still be there.

I am mentioning that because heart-broken and alone my first husband and I divorced over the holidays. I have not had a happy holiday since 1985. I myself could move on but now I see the damage that it has done to my sons.

Every time I think my family is getting settled into their own lives where we can begin to enjoy holidays there is another ripple. I expected it at Thanksgiving and I got what I expected even though we had an enjoyable meal. However, what I didn’t expect was the tidal wave that would occur in the following days.

My youngest son is now breaking up with his fiance( I say that word loosely). She has never respected him or his family and he has bent over backwards to try to make it work. Having seen the hardships endured during his early years he is not one to give up easily. This struggle has been going on for about four years now. I would have kicked her to the curb a long time ago but then I am old school.  It is very difficult for a mother to watch her child be mistreated. Even though he is an adult making his own choices it is hard to have to stand by and tolerate the lack of gratitude, the demanding, selfish ways of another. It is hard to watch your child be drained of everything they have loved and enjoyed doing because they are told “No,” in their own home. My son and I have had frequent conversations and I although having had to be careful have shared my opinions on this issue. Now I sit back and watch and wait.

Now he is stressed at the busiest season on his job when he can’t take time off. He has to worry about what’s going on at home, whose in his home and what will he return to.

My heart is breaking and there is nothing I can do to help him except tell him I am here for him.

If I go near the house it will only make matters worse and then her aggression will be taken out on him. So now once again I sit and wait through another year of heartache and break ups.

Two years ago I went through this with my older son who now lives with me because of what she cost him.

This scares me to death when we are in the worst time in our economy’s history.

Every mother wants the best for her children. My sons have never had a break in their life. They are wonderful young men and deserve better.

If I could ask for one thing for each of them for Christmas it would be for “Happiness!”

I see people rushing to stores buying four television sets, multiple technology games. Double this and triple that. What in the world is wrong with our society?

You cannot replace quality family time and love with things. I would give anything to go back to the way live was when I grew up. Simple life, family gatherings, sharing what you had and spending time together. The house was filled with love and joy. You didn’t hear anything but family voices and laughter. Mom’s baking filled the air and no one was worried about brand name gifts.

You were glad just to get “a” gift.

So as I go through this much dreaded time I am asking everyone out there to look around and find that person in your community that doesn’t have a smile on their face. The one that stands and looks through the window but doesn’t enter the store. The one who isn’t wearing a winter coat but is shivering.

I am asking that you take time to donate a toy, a winter coat, food, and spread some happiness. Reach out to the shelters, volunteer in the soup lines and let those who are struggling feel that someone cares.

I am asking you to put back on the shelf that one item that will prevent you from having quality family time. Don’t let electronics babysit your children. Instead plan a vacation, play in the snow, take a ride, go out on Christmas Even and check out all the Christmas decorations but do something together. Get your families off the couch, out of the house and away from televisions, computers, and Game boxes. Chop down your own Christmas tree. Go sleigh riding. Have some real old-fashioned fun. Go for a hay ride, sing Christmas carols but do it together.

One thing that people often forget about is giving someone a ride to church. Frequently there are less fortunate or senior citizens who don’t attend church because of lack of transportation not because they don’t want to. Help your church start a list for those needing transportation or home visits.

This is the time of year to find out what those in your community really need.

Pray for those who are struggling in their own lives. Most of all remember to treat everyone with kindness. You don’t know what struggles they face behind their closed doors.

May the holidays be blessed with happiness and joy wherever you are. May the small things be the greatest gifts. May your hearts be warm and actions helpful. May the world be blessed with happiness. May those who are lost find their way. May peace and tranquility enter your home and stay, and may an Angel come to all who are in need.

Until tomorrow find happiness and say a blessing for those less fortunate. 🙂


2 Responses

  1. The strong winds made the news here. Take care!

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