December 3rd

Good morning everyone. I hope the morning greats you well. I sat at my computer last night and was getting ready to write on my new manuscript. The house was quiet and I thought for a minute about where to begin.

I looked down at my phone and thought about my sister. I hadn’t spoken to her since before Thanksgiving so I picked up the phone and called her. We chit chatted for a few minutes as we always do about the kids and Thanksgiving and eating too much.

Then the real question came out of my mouth. “What’s new in your neck of the woods.”

I knew as she hesitated I was going to wish I hadn’t asked that question. My sister being for years older I always look up to her and expect her to be there for me but the truth is time is running out and I worry every day about her.

She replied in her usual I don’t want to tell you but I guess I have to way, saying, ” I was in the hospital again a week ago.”

My boldness came out abruptly saying, “You’re just telling me this now?” What happened? Another question I would regret.

She replied, in her casual way  ” I feel asleep behind the wheel of my car and now I don’t have a car.”

Just then her son called and she had to go leaving me in torment for the next few minutes until she could call me back.

My mind was racing and I was imagining all possibilities, did she hit someone else? Did she hit a tree? What had happened? We’ve always worried about her driving and as her health has gotten worse we’ve worried more so.

She called me back to tell me on the way to Physical Therapy she fell asleep. There are parts she doesn’t remember. However, she hit a utility Van from the University. Did no damage to them but smashed in the front end of her van.

Now I am worried sick about my sister. I know that she is physically okay but the reality is she will get a citation and her driving days will be over.

My sister has always had to rely on herself as for many years her husband worked as a forest ranger out in the fields gone for months on end. Now he is retired and home only when he feels like it.

There son lives in town however, work takes him out-of-town for months on end. I worry about the two of them being there alone and whether or not they are checked on.

The truth is we are getting old and that time has come when we find ourselves not as independent as we once were.

I have been divorced since 1986 and I often wonder who will check on me? I have two wonderful sons. One lives with me but he’s gone from time to time. My youngest son doesn’t like to answer the phone when he gets home from work.

After I hung up from talking with my sister I sat and cried. I was alone and realized the severity of the situation. My sister could have been killed. I had no one to talk to. Everyone was either gone or didn’t answer their phone.

Then I was reminded of a quote on television, ” You come into this world alone and you leave this world alone.”

How sad it is that one must walk through life always feeling that they are alone.

However, I have spent my entire life being alone. The only time I didn’t feel alone was when my children were little and they needed me.

I am sharing this experience because I want to remind everyone that time waits for no man.

Now that you are entering Christmas and the holiday spirit let everyone you care about know it. Find a way to share your love with them while you still have time. I know my time was almost taken from me.

Although my sister and I live in different states I will find a way to do something to show her my love.

I will leave you with the thought of ‘Hold those you Love Close to the Vest.” so until next time 🙂

 

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2 Responses

  1. Janice, that was a moving, reflective blog piece. I know how you feel as I don’t drive anymore due to heart problems and my husband has emphysema. If he dies before me, I wil be totally housebound, unable to get meds, food or just plain get out of the house, a couple of my kids live here but they are busy withtheir own families and I know running errands and taking me to doctors will get old quick. I hear it in their voices when they have to help their spouses parents on a regular basis.
    But we must learn to live in this day as it is really the only one we can be sure of–and tomorrow, if it comes will be time enough to worry over it.
    Hugs, Micki

  2. THank you Micki, I totally understand where you are coming from. However, what you need to do now is fill out the paperwork with health and welfare for home health care. They qualify you for help to come in so many hours a week. They can take you to the store, do cleaning, etc depending on how and what you are qualified for. Don’t wait until you have to have it start now qualifying then you don’t have to burden your children. I am getting ready to fill out the papers myself. Thanks for your wonderful support and I wish you and your family a wonderful holiday season.

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