December28th

 

Welcome back to Kellie Elmore‘s Free Write Friday! If you are new here, feel free to read the intro, otherwise let’s get started…

This week, our FWF prompt is:

resolve_quotes

I resolve… to take time out for me.

I was in the process of writing the beginning of my book “Secrets Behind Closed Doors.” It’s a  forty-year journey of everything that the public never hears about.

I had reached Chapter eight when the shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary took place.

All of a sudden emotions emerged that I hadn’t felt in a long time. I remembered the lock downs and scared children. I remembered 9/11 and the lock down of Nellis Air Force Base and the gag order the teachers were given.

I remembered the student I took my first weapon from back in the 80’s.

I found myself needing to grieve with the families and I could no longer write about my teaching experience.

I resolved myself to the idea that I wouldn’t worry about my book until after the holidays. I needed time to heal and move on as much as everyone else in this country did.

I did not want to run the risk of intertwining my emotions with the emotions of Sandy Hook Elementary. They are two separate stories and yet I can relate to part of it.

I no longer do New Year’s Resolutions because I only want to work on goals that I will obtain.

I am now ready to begin writing again and I will proceed with caution. However, it was important for me to take that time off from writing and spend it with my family.

After all if we cannot see the forest for the trees than all will be lost. I needed to see my own family and forget about teaching and schools and the news media. Now that I have been able to experience the joy of my loved ones and move forward in my life I will be ready to move on.

I resolve not to forget Sandy Hook Elementary and I do plan to write the Superintendent a letter. However, there is a time and place for everything.

I knew in my heart I couldn’t write anything for a while in the manner I wanted to so I resolved to be silent until I was ready.

Now as the New Year approaches and my mind and emotions are clear once more I resolve to pick up pen and paper and continue to write what needs to be told.

I wish everyone God’s Blessings in the New Year. May 2013 be a better year for everyone.

I know I will do what I can to make it better.

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