January 9th

Today the snow is crisp. The sun wants to peak through. The sky is half blue and half grey which is better than all that grey. It is warmer today and the snow has begun to melt. However, we have another storm moving in so by tonight we will have new snow on top of frozen ice making the road conditions horrible. The last two weeks in January are supposed to be very cold and I am worrying about the heat bill. However, for now I will take it one day at a time.

I was reading a friends blog today in regards to architecture and how do we plan our writing.

This is the comment I left on her wall and I will leave it for all my viewers as I believe it also applies to life in general.

The more we open our minds and observe nature the more possibilities we realize are out their for us from the drone ant to the Queen honeybee, nature is at work building a community. When we write we are build our own community of thoughts from our experiences, however, the more open-minded we remain and the more we appreciate nature the more opportunities we will see for creation. The universe is limitless if we allow it to penetrate the mind and guide us on an unforeseen journey. However, if one falls into the black hole of darkness, dispare that one will not reach their full potential as a writer. One must find themselves leading, guiding, and yet in balance with opportunities and nature.
The only architectural plan that I make is the table of contents. Then I allow freedom of memory, reminiscing, and creativity in each chapter. Yes I go back to make sure each chapter is structural sound and connects to the next but I never know when I start how I will end.

Now that I am at the 9th day of January I am taking myself back and reminiscing about the good old days of being pregnant. There is no happier time in a woman’s life than when she is newly married and pregnant. I was pregnant with my second child and we didn’t know the gender before birth so there was great anticipation.  Friends and family would give you a shower so you could have some new items even though it wasn’t your first child. You would find yourself getting many things that were white, yellow, or green and were not gender related.

I already had a son so I was hoping for a girl and I could name her Mia,(Mary in Finnish) my sister-in-law was named Mary and grandpa Koski always called her Mia and I loved the sound of that.

However, the main thing for me was that I had a healthy baby. One baby. I had grown so big so fast the doctor wasn’t sure if I was going to have twins or not and that idea scared me to death since I already had a two-year old.

It had been a relatively easy pregnancy but from six months on I started hiding in the house because every time I saw someone I knew they’d say haven’t you had that kid yet.

My pregnancies were always compounded by the loss of loved ones. With my first pregnancy my sister had miscarried and I felt bad. Then on my birthday when I was in the beginning of my second Trimester my aunt committed suicide. I wasn’t allowed to travel so I couldn’t attend the family funeral.

During the second pregnancy my sister was pregnant and we were so excited as the babies would be born a few months a part making them close in age .  However, once again in the beginning of my second trimester tragedy struck and my sister lost her child. He was born too early and lived three days. Once again I was not allowed to go to his funeral. I was devastated.

Now it was hard to show my enthusiasm when I would be around my sister and her family. I didn’t know how she would react when my baby was finally born.

Her family had basically pulled away from my two-year old and I was concerned. However, we lived in separate towns and I would take it one day at a time.

Now I was at a point where it was embarrassing to go to the doctor’s office as everyone would sit and watch my belly ripple just like they were watching television. My baby was very active during the day.

The doctor had told me that my due date was January 10th and there was no question as to when the baby was due. However, he had said all through my pregnancy I’d probably have a December baby.

Here I was on the 9th wondering why the baby had not yet arrived. It wasn’t my first and I hadn’t had complications and now I had a hard time getting out of a chair if someone didn’t help me.

It made the days very long and difficult with my two-year old. I was always glad when his father would come home from work even if he had to return later that evening. Just a little bit of time with another adult was a blessing.

I was almost finished with the baby afghan that I had been making and decided I’d better finish it in the next day or so.

We lived in Montana and the winter was cold. There was no heat upstairs in the bedrooms. There was only a vent that allowed the heat to rise from the main floor.

A storm was moving in and I had to make sure that I was well prepared for what I would need to bring a baby home. Back then they didn’t give you starter kits like today.

Grandma had come to spend the week to make sure I didn’t have to take my two-year old out in the middle of the night. I knew from the beginning the baby would be born in the middle of the night.

However it was already Wednesday and with the week half gone Grandma was wondering if she would have to go home and return. She lived thirty miles away. We decided she’d stay till the weekend and see what was what.

Now the anticipation was becoming stronger, my son was ready to have a new baby, my husband was getting exasperated, and we had an extra person in the house. Not much room for privacy and all I wanted to do was cry.

So now here I am thirty-seven years later thinking once again on one of the most wonderful days of my life and the anticipation of it finally coming.

The greatest gift a mother receives is that of the unknown. You wonder what the personality will be like, what they will look like, what they will grow up to be, will there be dances, proms, graduation, and all those wonderful experiences. A mother will have many surprises along the way. However, good, bad or indifferent the one thing that can never be taken away is the bond between a mother and child. It is created with a uniqueness all its own.

So no that hopefully I have left you with anticipation you will return tomorrow to hear the rest of this wonderful story. “A Child is Coming.”

 

so until next time 🙂

 

 

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2 Responses

  1. What lovely memories on crisp and wintry day!

  2. Thank you Micki

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